Negative Thoughts Hurt: 3 Steps to Stop Them and The Pain They Cause
Negative thoughts are due to seeing the worst in yourself, others, and situations. Changing them is about getting to the root of your pain and suffering.
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What is the cause of negative thoughts
Depression and anxiety is characterized by having negative thoughts.
Based upon the cognitive model of depression, negative experiences lead to negative beliefs. When your mind tries to make sense of the negative experiences the story you tell yourself becomes one of self-blame. You tell yourself you are 100% at fault and how bad of a person you are.
Your interpretation of the negative events in your life and your reaction to them leads to the cycle of depression and anxiety.
How do you experience negative thoughts
Your mind does not like to believe negative things about you.
When negative thoughts creep into your mind you will suppress them. This suppression can lead to you having depression or anxiety. Some common symptoms include:
Feeling down or sad
Feeling anxious or stressed
Irritable
Tearful
Poor sleep
Poor concentration
Decreased or Increased appetite
Low energy
Restless
When you have symptoms of depression or anxiety it is a signal to you that something is wrong.
Is it okay to have negative thoughts
It is important to develop an awareness of why you have negative thoughts.
Negative thoughts have evolved to protect you. The thougths represent your ability to survive in the face of challenges. Before determining if you want to stop your negative thoughts, it is important to explore how they have kept you safe.
In a journal write about how your negative thoughts have allowed you to survive challenging experiences.
Separating from the negative thoughts
When you experience negative thoughts, you may want nothing more than for them to go away. The following steps will start you on your journey of learning how to work through them.
Step 1: Identify you are having negative emotions.
You may be feeling anxious or depressed. Your first goal is to allow yourself to acknowledge the emotions you are experiencing. It is important to put words to your emotional distress.
Step 2: Identify the negative thoughts.
This may be difficult as thoughts often fly through your head so quickly you may not know you are having them. Take the time to journal about experiences that make you have negative emotions. While journaling, focus on why you may have felt the way you did.
Step 3: Challenge the negative thought.
Once you identify your negative you need to find out how likely is it that what you're telling yourself is the truth. Is what you’re telling yourself the whole truth, completely false, or partially true. Write out times when the negative thought is completely wrong.
Let’s give an example of a person working through these three steps.
For example…., Jan has worked hard to help your family. She has been there to support them even when they did not support her. Now as an adult she finds herself getting easily frustrated with friends and co-workers. She regrets her actions, but at time feel powerless to stop the anger and frustration she feels.
Step 1: Identify you are having negative emotions.
She is having difficulty falling asleep. Her mind will not stop racing about her getting angry and yelling at a co-worker. She tells herself she is feeling anxious.
Step 2: Identify the negative thoughts.
She takes out her journal and begins writing about why she is feeling bad. She at first does not know why she feels so bad about her actions. As she keeps writing she notices herself writing how bad of a person she is for treating her co-workers the way she did.
Step 3: Challenge the negative thought.
After identifying her negative thought “I am a bad person.” She challenges this thought by writing about people she has helped. She is able to identify that she sometimes does things that are hurtful to others. She is able to prove to herself that her belief about being a bad person is not correct and replaces it with the thought that she sometimes does things that hurt people’s feelings.
Oftentimes your negative thoughts are based on irrational beliefs that lead to you not accepting your shortcomings. No one is without imperfections. Painful emotions occur when you believe that your imperfections are 100% true.
Are you suffering from Anxiety?
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The information provided through this blog is for educational and informational purposes only. By reading this blog, you agree not to use this as medical/psychiatric advice to treat any medical/psychiatric condition. By reading this blog it does not create a physician-patient relationship. Consult your own physician for any medical/psychiatric issues that you may be having. This entire disclaimer also applies to any guests or contributors to the blog. Under no circumstances shall Nicole Gutierrez MD, Kwinpax Behavioral Health PLLC, any guests or contributors to the blog, or any employees, associates, or affiliates of Kwinpax Behavioral Health PLLC be responsible for damages arising from the use of the blog.
