Staying Present
"Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it" -Eckhart Tolle.
At times it can be easy to emotionally pull away from others. It can be easy to numb oneself in emotionally difficult situations. The problem arises when we do it without realizing it.
I at times will find myself when with a group of people pulling away emotionally. I can talk to one person, laugh, and enjoy their company. Then suddenly a third and fourth person enters the conversation. I will find myself suddenly filled with anxiety. If it is more socially appropriate for me to remain in the group, I stay. I will begin to cope with my emotional discomfort by getting silent and turning to my own thoughts. If I can, I usually find a way or any reason at all to leave and go find something to occupy my time. Something less stress-inducing.
An example of me displaying this behavior is coming home late one night. I have recently lived with my friend and she had another friend from college over visiting for the night. Upon entering the home, I saw them watching TV laughing. I was suddenly filled with anxiety. My heart began beating quickly and all I wanted to do was escape to my room. She, having never met me before, was trying to be polite and began trying to ask basic, cordial questions. To which I quickly answered and left.
Everyone will behave differently in different situations. Emotionally withdrawing from a situation can come in many different forms. It can present in subtle forms. It can look like not conversing in a conversation and not contributing to it. It can look like avoiding talking about certain topics. It can look like not talking to certain people. Not going around certain people. It can look like not going to certain places. It can look like avoiding certain situations or tasks. It can also occur mentally. You can avoid your own thoughts. You can shut down your thoughts so you don’t acknowledge what you're thinking.
It can make a person feel lonely, not being active in situations. It can make a person feel unwanted to not participate in conversations. It can make a person feel something is wrong with them when they can’t access their own thoughts.
I will always believe that I and everyone are always under construction. We are always seeking to develop an increased understanding of ourselves. I do not believe in doing the hard work of learning about ourselves and improving for no point. It is not pointless. I think the point is to combat sadness and loneliness. We are people who need other people. I believe our joy comes from having deep meaningful relationships with others. Emotionally pulling away from others makes it difficult to connect with others.
“Just be yourself. Let people see the real, imperfect, flawed, quirky, weird, beautiful, magical person that your are.”― Mandy Hale
Allow yourself to experience, acknowledge, accept your thoughts. Allow yourself to feel your emotions. Being present allows you to express yourself. It allows you to attach emotionally to another person. It allows others to see and experience you as you truly are.
The information provided through this blog is for educational and informational purposes only. By reading this blog, you agree not to use this as medical/psychiatric advice to treat any medical/psychiatric condition. By reading this blog it does not create a physician-patient relationship. Consult your own physician for any medical/psychiatric issues that you may be having. This entire disclaimer also applies to any guests or contributors to the blog. Under no circumstances shall Nicole Gutierrez MD, Kwinpax Behavioral Health PLLC, any guests or contributors to the blog, or any employees, associates, or affiliates of Kwinpax Behavioral Health PLLC be responsible for damages arising from the use of the blog.
